


The Grieving Process

by Kalta79



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Catfights, Comedy, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 08:51:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11078190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalta79/pseuds/Kalta79
Summary: AU story, at the Forgotten City Cloud manages to save Aerith and kill Sephiroth, but dies from his injuries. And everyone gets drunk and stupid at the wake at 7th Heaven after his funeral. More parody BS basically.





	The Grieving Process

**Author's Note:**

  * For [obsidians](https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidians/gifts).



They all gathered at Cloud’s grave site to honor the man who not only saved the last remaining Ancient, but killed Sephiroth as well, losing his own life in the process. Reeve delivered the eulogy, and then they all went to 7th Heaven for the wake.

Reno made a beeline for the free drinks. He and the other Turks had been ordered to attend by Rufus, as a gesture of goodwill to honor the man who saved their asses by taking out Sephiroth. Reno had accepted the order with ill grace, but after a couple drinks, he realized there were quite a few hotties here would need some comforting, Reno-style comforting.

Aerith went to the bar, wanting to drown her sorrows, when she noticed Reno smiling at her. After she downed whatever the bartender handed her, she tentatively smiled back at him. Suddenly someone grabbed her arm and yanked her off her bar stool, and she found herself face to face with an angry Yuffie.

“You leave him alone, I saw him first!” Yuffie slurred her words, and Aerith realized she was drunk.

“I just smiled at him, and I didn’t see your name anywhere on him.” Aerith shoved Yuffie away.

Yuffie threw herself at Aerith, knocking them both to the ground. They both grabbed each other’s hair and started rolling around the floor. Reno watched them, deciding whoever won, he’d have sex with them first.

Tifa went to break up the drunken catfight, scolding them for being so disrespectful, but when she pulled them both up off the floor, Yuffie went to hit Aerith and missed, knocking Tifa into Rude’s arms. As Yuffie cringed at her bad aim, Aerith nailed her, sending Yuffie flying into Reno, who easily caught her.

“Don’t worry, little lady, there’s plenty of me to go around.” he told Yuffie, who tried to stand up straight to look at Reno, but ended up passing out drunk onto the stool right next to him. 

Reno shrugged and looked at Aerith who took a deep breath and went back to the bar, ordering another drink. When she picked up her glass to chug it, she noticed Reno picking up his glass as if to toast her. He smiled wider at her torn dress and disheveled hair.

Vincent drank his third scotch, hoping Yuffie wouldn’t try and sleep it off at his place again. She got too grabby. Looking out the window, he noticed no one had covered up Cloud’s grave. He went outside and found the bulldozer, and figured out how to turn it on. It took him a few tries to get it moving in the direction he wanted, accidentally running over Tseng’s car in the process.

Hojo approached the grave, terribly angry. How could one of his failed projects defeat Sephiroth? If nothing else, he could piss on his grave.

Vincent went full speed towards Cloud’s grave, pretending he was a train conductor. “CHOO CHOO!” he yelled.

Everyone inside the bar suddenly heard a loud crash and ran outside, to see a bulldozer sticking out of Cloud’s grave, and Vincent trying to back it out again.

“What did you do?” Cid asked him.

“Someone moved the tracks! I‘m filing a complaint with the transportation board!” Vincent yelled before slumping in his seat.

No one noticed the piece of lab coat sticking out from under the wheels of the bulldozer as they went to get Vincent out of the driver’s seat.


End file.
